Have you ever felt completely drained by a person after pouring love and compassion into them for days, months and in some cases years on end.
This relationship can play out in many ways and with many key people in our life. Our partner our children our parents. Your best efforts to be a kind, compassionate loving human being seems to be some cruel cosmic joke that keeps playing out with you as the butt of it. Somehow being a good person seems to be backfiring time and time again. No matter how hard you try to do "the right thing" it seems the rest of the world has another agenda altogether. If I just keep loving this person somehow it will change and they will realise the error of their ways. Well sorry to say that will not work and in fact it will never work.
There is a reason for this phenomena.
Lets have a look at what Compassion is. The dictionary meaning is - sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others. Compassion is a most desirable quality in a human being. It is the ability to impassion all of life. To feel deeply. So when we are compassionate to our loved ones and humanity it breeds a beautiful relationship. There is a down side though. When we apply pure compassion without the wisdom it needs to deliver it, it is like letting a child loose in a brothel.
Let me explain why. When we see someone as inferior to us, somehow doing life badly or hopeless in some way we can subconsciously expect this person to fail. We see them as a victim. For example a sulky teenager who would rather sit in a dark room playing computer games all day and half the night or a depressed partner that has been unemployed for the past 7 years. If there is only compassion for that person with no wisdom framing it, we can easily fall into the draining trap of enabling that person to sit in their victim and somehow thinking love, and compassion is needed in increasing doses to fix this. Allowing pity to keep that person absolutely stuck in the victim role is not serving them in any way shape or form.
This way of thinking is all about the ego and very little about true compassion. A parent that allows their child to keep engaged in unhealthy and antisocial behaviour is only serving their own feelings. A wife who gets 2 jobs because her husband is depressed and unemployed for years on end is on many levels reinforcing his victim status and she is serving her fear rather than having true compassion for him.
When we employ compassion without wisdom we set no boundaries. We keep giving without limit. (trust me this is the furthest thing from a truly spiritual nature). You usually find the person you are practicing your misplaced compassion on is either doing absolutely nothing to help themselves. Is taking advantage of the free energy. Is stuck in victim and with no real motivation to get out, and kind of likes it there.
Compassion served with wisdom respects you and your loved one. It acknowledges the divine creative force in the other human being and even though they may have met a challenge or two or are struggling with a difficult stage of life, the wisdom understands that this is a necessary part of them evolving into their next stage of life. That it is necessary for them to understand that they have a power in them that can deliver them from any unpleasant experience.
So when your loved one is struggling have compassion. In this compassion know that they are a divine being of creation and they have the power to change in any moment. If they are sitting in the victim then acknowledge that but don't feed it. Have empathy for where they are, as we all have been there from time to time, but always be in alignment with your own truth in this situation. If it's draining then you have the power to turn the tap off and let them stand on their own two feet and use their own energy. It will make them stronger. You will not be a bad person for it. In fact true friends and loved ones empower each other.
So if something here resonates with you, remember you have the power to change it in any given moment.
Live your beautiful life.....