Steps to rise out of fear

The fears that we don’t face become our limits - Robin Sharma

Get familiar with your fear.

The shame of having fear or denial of fear is a huge block to mentally tackling your dragon. Sometimes we are also completely identified with our fear that we go about the business of acting it out. Psychiatrist Dan Seigel’s mindfulness exercise “Name It To Tame It” is an example of how powerful it is to identify your fears and strong emotions. When your emotions overwhelm you, you name them so they can inform you rather than take you over.

Do it at your own pace.

If the fear is too overwhelming then start with something small. You could simply just acknowledge that, “hey, I’ve noticed that the fear of (FILL IN THE BLANK) is so overwhelming I don’t want to go there”. You don’t have to. One day you may find that you don’t want this fear to drive you anymore, and in that space the decision to overcome your fear, you will access the courage to just be with it for short periods of time – until then, start with something doable. You may not want to face the fear of financial collapse, for instance, or poverty but perhaps look at the fear of up-skilling or education for example. I have breathing and journaling exercises below so that you can start to release the charge from those fears that really overwhelm you.

Recognise how it has affected your behaviour.

Do you put off important things? Or perhaps make excuses as to why you can’t do something? “I don’t have time” or “it’s too difficult”. Remember whenever you say “I can’t” subconsciously it means “I won’t”. By investigating how it affects your behaviour you are now bringing it to the conscious mind even further. This is where you have access to the frontal lobe and creative solutions.

Investigate it.

Is it still relevant in present time? The fear of public speaking often stems back to childhood trauma around speaking in public. It isn’t relevant in present time but the fear is still locked in the body. Is the fear real? The fear of someone breaking in to your house, for instance, if you live in a reasonably safe neighbourhood and perhaps you haven’t been broken into before, then this fear may not be substantiated. Sometimes we have irrational fears that don’t make sense as they belong to another time.

Find the origin of this fear.

Sometimes we pick up on other people’s emotions and we can also be picking up on the collective unconscious. We can inherit our families fear – science tells us that we store up to 14 generations of trauma in our genetics but it’s logical to think that we may even store our survival data from the beginning of existence. Fear can also be introduced by the outside world like newspapers, this is their marketing strategy as it keeps you dependant on them (my suggestion would be to do a media cleanse if you are struggling with fear – sometimes this wipes out the fear all together. I don’t watch the news at all and I haven’t missed out on any relevant information). Where does the fear belong, in present time or from the past? Perhaps a fear of dogs can be from an event you had in early childhood, but are still holding onto in present time.

Find the meaning in the pain.

The deeper you investigate the emotion the easier it is to uncover what is under the emotion. What is the belief? You can then choose to keep the belief or change it to something that is more life supportive. Debunk those falsehoods, they aren’t serving you.

Focus on what you want.

By simply focusing on what you want instead of what you don’t want will take you from primal brain into the frontal creative lobe, it helps you change your attractor field. Whatever you focus on you will draw to you, if you let go of the fear of failure and the need for perfection it will make the road less bumpy. Not everything we want manifests instantly as we have all no doubt experienced. However, focusing on the direction you want to bring into your life, it improves your life immensely. Life is a constant process of unfoldment and as such, is an adventure. How you perceive the adventure will determine the quality of your life.

Breathing Techniques to Conquer Fear The power of breath work is starting to become more recognised in the scientific and personal transformation communities as research uncovers the benefits. Conscious breathing is one of the very few ways that we can access our autonomic nervous system. The autonomic nervous system is directly connected to our primal brain and seems to function beyond our conscious control. Anyone who has had an experience with unmanageable anxiety or panic attacks will know that trying to talk yourself out of it is almost impossible. Knowing different breathing techniques can directly affect the nervous system, breath is intimately linked to our nervous system and therefore can override the fight or flight response to make our body feel like there is no imminent threat.

Quick technique to control anxiety This technique was shared by Dr Andrew Huberman, Neuroscientist, as the fastest way to bring the body and mind into a relaxed state.

1. Take two quick breaths through the nose

2. Breathe out slowly through the mouth

3. Do this for as long as it takes to calm the nervous system down – it works very quickly.

Connected breath Is great for improving energy and clearing emotional blocks and is popular in rebirthing techniques.

1. Breathe in through the nose for the count of five

2. Without a pause breathe out for the count of 5 through the mouth. (you can also make a sound while doing this like an ahhh)

3. Repeat this for 5 minutes. This can be done morning and night

For focus and recentering This is a breathing technique I heard from a Navy Seal, when they were on an exercise and about to go on an operation they would use this breathing technique to centre and focus the mind.

1. Breathe in for the count of four

2. Hold for the count of four

3. Breathe out for the count of four

4. Hold for the count of four

Journaling Questions to Transform Your Fears If you have recognised the benefits of journaling, then enjoy the selection of questions below. Use the ones that resonate with you and you may also find that if you use them, one day the answers you come up with may differ the next time you use it. The process of self-inquiry is an ever unfolding journey, as your perception changes you will see each question differently and uncover deep aspects to the self.

If you haven’t journaled before then you can CLICK HERE to. access an article on my website that guides you through different ways to journal.

What is the current fear that keeps me from living the life that I truly desire? What is being threatened?

How does this fear make my body feel?

How has this affected my behaviour? e.g. I put things off.

How has this affected my life?

How does this affect my relationships?

Is it still relevant in present time?

Is the fear real?

Is this mine?

If not, who does it belong to?

What time does it belong to?

What is the belief under my fear/emotion?